When you think of the word failure, how would you define it?

According to Wikipedia, failure is “the state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended outcome, and it may be viewed as the opposite of success,” and Merriam-Webster defines it as “falling short.” No matter how a person explains failure, it typically sounds negative. Yet, I’ve learned that failure doesn’t have to be viewed as unacceptable or something to avoid at all costs. 

I’ve come to realize the benefits of failure and that it is an important part of life. 

A Shaky Identity

Growing up, I was a major perfectionist. I didn’t want to disappoint people, and I constantly believed I didn’t meet their expectations. My identity was shaky, and I was insecure. There were so many times I told myself, “You are a failure.” I would steer clear of anything that could lead to failure, or if it was something I couldn’t get out of, I made sure to practice beforehand. I did all this out of fear, self-preservation, and a desire to be in control. Over time, it became a coping mechanism. 

Fast forward to a few years after college, when I was working as a nurse. While I was more willing to do uncomfortable things, it still scared me and caused me great anxiety. Even still, I wasn’t happy with my life and knew I wanted more now and for my future. I had felt called to serve others overseas for years, and I finally chose to stop dreaming and take an actual step in that direction. It was a HUGE step for me, but looking back, it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. A “yes” that completely changed my life.

A Life-Changing “Yes”

While on the World Race, an 11-month mission trip to 11 countries, I had some crazy highs and also some lows. I was pushed out of my comfort zone, experienced things I had never experienced before, and had to take numerous risks. The failure I had worked so hard to avoid became inevitable if I wanted to grow, learn, and live to the fullest on this trip. There were plenty of risks I didn’t take, but plenty that I did. Through these risks and the failure that sometimes came with them, how I viewed myself began to shift. I learned that I have a purpose and can and should be myself. I was told I had the capability to be a leader, and I actually began to believe these things about myself. (Read more about my time on the World Race here.)

My identity slowly grew more secure, not when I avoided failure, but when I took risks knowing I might fall flat on my face.

The Benefits of failure

After coming home from the World Race, a wise mentor of mine told me, “You can’t move forward unless you risk, the types of risks that make you cringe just thinking about them.” Having experiences means taking risks…and taking risks means you will eventually fail. As I said before, failure is said to be “falling short” and the “opposite of success.” Is it possible that even if these definitions are accurate, that failure still has benefits? What if these benefits outweigh success? What if, even if we fall short, we can learn a valuable lesson and grow as people?

If the answer is yes, then why do we avoid failure like it’s the plague?

I think the solution to move forward is not to avoid failure. No matter how much we try to prevent it, we all eventually fail at some point. Instead, we need to learn first the important benefits of failure and second how to better cope with it when it happens. 

Check out “How to Cope with Failure” to learn more about handling failure in a healthier way.